Fatherless Children
A Contribution to the Understanding 01 their Needs. New Lducation bellowship Monograph, No. 2. Obtainable from N.E.F., 50 Gloucester Place, London, W.l. Is. 6d.
Here in a collection of three essays (Fatherless Children by Susan Isaacs, The Bereaved Wife, by Joan Riviere, What the Father means to a Child, by Ella Freeman Sharpe), is a beautiful refutation of the common indictment that psychologists think only in terms of mother functions and not of father functions when they consider the problem of bringing up children. Having read the pamphlet once it should be re-read but with the essays in reverse order. For in spite of its title (which is no misnomer) this is much more than an essay on Fatherless Children. It is primarily an account of what a man means to his children and to his wife, and it will be of great help to all those still fortunate enough to have a complete family and who are concerned about its upbringing.
Miss Sharpe’s contribution is a beautifully lucid and complete account of the father’s influence in encouraging and consolidating the masculine qualities of his son, and she shows also how in becoming the focus of his daughter’s early feminine impulses his is the basic influence in her development towards successful wifehood and motherhood. This essay alone, should be of great value to all parents.
Mrs. Riviere deals with the effect on a woman of being deprived of her husband, the economic and social anxieties she faces and above all, the deep anxiety of loss of personal worth. The frequent fear which may beset her, of being responsible for her loss or of having . deserved it, and the bitterness of deprivation which may result in her giving either too little or too much feeling to her children is also described, and the attention is called to the possibility that she may seek consolation and support by handing herself over to a mother or mother-in-law or by excessive activity outside the home. Mrs. Isaacs’ essay is best read with the two others clearly in mind. The orphaned child’s problem involves the facing both of his own loss with the pain and anxiety involved, and of the effect on his mother which arouses strong childish endeavours to compensate her. There are excellent sections on how the mother can help her children in their common grief without usurping or denying their right to proper feeling, and on the role of the school in understanding and directing the child’s special needs at this time.
In these days families are being deprived of their menfolk for many reasons including death, divorce and enforced separation, and this monograph is an excellent and helpful one in all such situations. But above all, it should be recommended to parents eager for a clear account of the father’s role in family life. After reading it no doubt can be left as to the far reaching effects of the parents’ relations to each other on the child’s view of life and of the many and subtle ways in which children respond to this relationship and later absorb their attitudes into their own adult problems. R.T.
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