A Study in the Borderland of Morality
- Author:
Margaret Otis, Ph.D.
Indian Orchard, Mass.
In examining delinquent cases a psychologist is expected to give an arbitrary answer to the question “Feebleminded or not? Responsible or irresponsible?” Yet some of the most interesting cases are those which cannot be classified. After reading Grasset’s Les Demi-fous and passing thence to the investigation of actual cases, one is impressed with the truth that there are many borderline cases, so-called, individuals who may pass most tests, yet may not be morally fully responsible, and may fail to maintain themselves in any position in which they may be placed. Such girls,?for the cases under present study are those of delinquent girls,?may possess very attractive qualities and may appeal strongly to philanthropist and reformer, and may encourage efforts to stimulate their development and to give them the moral training they lack in the social standards generally accepted. Such a case is found in the following history:
Lillian Blucher was the child of humble, yet fairly well-to-do parents, of German parentage on her father’s side and of French on her mother’s. Not much is known of her infancy, but she seemed to have had average care and was trained in church going,?the Lutheran church. Nor is much known about the father except that he was intemperate and separated from his wife when Lillian was a school girl. He disappeared later and no more was heard from him. The child appreciated the difficulty in the home and suffered from the disagreement of her parents. Her mother found her hard to control, and a tendency to deceive, prominent in her after-career, appeared early.
It was unfortunate for Lillian that her mother failed to obtain a sympathetic knowledge of the young girl’s needs. Obliged by her husband’s desertion to earn her own living and to care for her small property, she was forced to be away from home much of the time and her two children, Lillian and a boy, ran wild. At fourteen and a half Lillian was already mature and attractive to the boys. Developing early sexually, she felt the impulse to get away from home influences that appears in many girls at puberty. And now it was the traditional time for joining the church, and attendance on a confirmation class became necessary. She was often absent from class and deceived her mother as to her whereabouts. The mis(201) chief that ruined her life was done, however, in the confirmation class itself. The minister’s son was also in the class and proved a charming companion. Lillian grew more regular in attendance after he had walked home with her one time, and they had many whispered conferences in the intervals of the minister’s explanations. She met him often outside and at his home, notwithstanding her mother’s objections, for instinctively the mother felt that he would not do well by her girl. Her fears were realized when one evening, on the impulse of the moment he asked the girl to go off with him, and in a manner perfectly characteristic of her nature, without reflection she went. For a time she was very happy, or thought she was, for was it not a union of souls, a true marriage, as her beloved often asserted? Indeed, he told her that they were married and she believed him.
This blissful experience lasted one month, and then came disillusionment. Suffice it to say that not long after she was committed to a Home for delinquent girls on a complaint from her mother, pronounced incorrigible by the judge.
Life hereafter was somewhat different from the “true soul” life she had just experienced. Rebellious at first, she subsided gradually into the institutional routine, although at times she would have outbreaks and strike at officers like an angry child. Opinions differed greatly as to Lillian’s character. Attractive, refined, with artistic tastes, she seemed to the outward eye all that could be desired in any girl. On the other hand she was quick to pick up silliness, and got in with the “fast set” of the Home. There are degrees of badness even in a Home. She never hesitated about doing things “on the sly,” although she was usually found out and punished for all she did.
On account of her artistic tastes and lack of physical strength for hard work, a place was found for her as lady’s maid in a home where the lady of the house took a definite interest in her and gave her an opportunity to attend an art school evenings. She did exceedingly well with this work and her mistress became very fond of her. Yet her double nature appeared in full strength here. She had such a fun-loving nature that “being good all day” was an unnatural and too artificial a life. Fun “on the side” there always is in plenty for those who know how. “Tom” appeared on her horizon and her “soul life” with him became an important episode. “Tom” was a traveling man and ready for an “affair”. He really became passionately devoted to the girl. He wrote her many letters and sent his picture. In one letter he said: “Oh, Lillian darling, I canTHE BORDERLAND OF MORALITY. 203 not express to you what joy it gave me to be with you this afternoon, and how I enjoyed every minute of it! You were so sweet with me and are such a little sunbeam for company.” This was the way she affected most men. They saw not the evil nature in her that her mother did, nor the weakmindedness that was the probation officer’s view of her condition. “A sweet, lovable girlie” was the verdict of her friends.
But forbidden fruits bring results not desired. She was found out, and also detected in appearing at a party in her mistress’s best gown. She even had been impersonating her mistress and had written letters in her name, little actress that she was! She was returned to the Home in disgrace. Her mistress was naturally disgusted with her lack of gratitude and her inability to walk the narrow path. The girl, when questioned later about these experiences seemed to consider them as merely mischievous escapades. Cannot many a reputable woman remember many school girl pranks, easily forgiven by kind parents?
Back in the Home she lost ambition and drifted into the worst that was offered. Sex nature, defrauded, must have an outlet, and love affairs among the girls were rampant. Yes, she loved a colored girl named Imogen. A large number of love notes were discovered. “Dear, darling Imogen,?If all the world were as good, and kind, and true as you, I should not be writing this letter. Dear Imogen, if I could tell you how I love you, and how sorry I am to fall in your opinion, as I surely shall when you hear what has happened. Imogen, sometimes when you pray, remember Birdie, won’t you? She needs your prayers so much, for she cannot pray herself. I do not want to be wholly bad, and I have faith that God will hear you. … I will never leave you. One reason why I will not leave you is because I love you, and I know if I go out, I will only come back again to you. Yours forever, Birdie Hop-o-mythumb.” “To my own Imogen to the end,?Here I am writing my eyes out and it’s moonlight. But what’s the difference? I’d go through fire for you, honest, kid, I would, and you know that. Could it be true that you love me! Oh, how I wish it was true! Could there be a happier girl in all this world? Oh, I should say not. Good-night, my darling, sweet dreams! I’ll lay awake and think about you. Birdie.” “Imogen, my beloved,?Be true to me, my darling, and let my love abide with you, forever and ever, amen. I’m making something for your birthday. What day is it? Well, dearest, I guess you are sick of looking at my scribbling. I must close. With true love. Birdie.”
Not only was she affected in this romantic way toward Imogen, but she soon became involved in an affair with a white girl, Nellie. Indeed, she had the faculty of winning the love of many, and was the recipient of countless notes and gifts. She was distinctly a leader among the girls and the most popular girl in the school. Thus she became involved in nearly all the mischief that was at hand, and consequently was not popular with the officers.
So it came about that a psychological study of her case was recommended. She stood 11-2 by the Binet test. The three questions missed were the dissected sentences in 11, and the long sentence and the problems in 12. In the association test she did very well, but showed some inclination to repeat the stimulus before giving the reaction word. Her reaction time was somewhat slow. Otherwise she seemed perfectly normal. She had practically completed a grammar school education, could write a good hand, but was quite careless and inaccurate in any book-work assigned. She was not a very good speller, made mistakes in short common words, and often made mistakes in English. As an experiment she was tried in stenography and type-writing. She could do good work on the type-writer when she tried, and in stenography she could learn when it was merely copying and memorizing. She was very careless and inaccurate in this also, and showed a tendency to deceive as to the time spent on her lesson. When she was asked to learn rules, she could memorize, but was troubled when asked to apply rules to particular cases, or to explain why a particular case came under some rule. That is, the application of a general principle to a particular case seemed beyond her level of intelligence.
The abnormality in Lillian seemed to consist of the perverse homo-sexual tendency, so that a study of her case by other means than tests seemed advisable. She was found to be very suggestible, and an attempt was made to help her by suggestion. She could be easily hypnotized, so easily that it indicated a somewhat neurotic constitution. She owned up to having “bad dreams” as she called them. The danger of indulging in the love affairs with the girls had been explained to her and she seemed to understand and to wish to overcome the evil tendencies within her. Indeed, she expressed herself as wishing to lead a perfect life. “Perfection” seemed her ideal, and she worried over her small misdemeanors. In these moods she would impress her friends as a very saint-like character. One could hardly believe that she had ever been guilty of any wrong. She loved to be praised and had the ability of representing her actions in the best possible light, for that is the kindest way to regard what some would say were absolute falsehoods as to things that had happened. Most discouraging was this very characteristic, for it necessitated a double life. At the same time she was an ardent soul endeavoring to reform, and yet on the side she was a jolly good fellow with her “pals”. Suggestive treatment was more effective in helping her to overcome her sexual tendencies than it was in helping her to be truthful. Truthful she simply could not be. She was also lacking in the ability to keep a definite end in view. Continuity of thought and purpose is not easy to acquire. She soon lost interest in her short-hand lessons, had become involved in another love affair, this time with an English girl just admitted to the Home, Anna Hobs. Lillian was quite carried away with her affection for this girl and deception was again necessary to satisfy her love and at the same time to “keep in” with her teacher.
Yet one cannot say that this deceitfulness came from an utterly corrupt nature, for she did honestly try to improve herself, as was shown by what she wrote in a composition book that was given her for the writing of verses and mottoes of the school work. This book she used also as a diary and often wrote out her own thoughts, and sometimes even wrote out her dreams. “I stayed after school today and had an hour talk with my teacher. I think her talks do me more good than the studying I do. Oh! I do wonder why I cannot get my short-hand lessons. I try, but it seems I cannot.” “I received a letter from Nellie on the five o’clock recess. I do not know if her letter had anything to do with my bad dreams or not. I had a very bad dream and when I was dreaming it I was saying to myself: ‘I must have bad dreams,’ I fought with them and tried not to think of them. I got up and exercised and felt better when I went to bed again. I tried to think some good thoughts. While I was trying to think the good thoughts, the bad thoughts tried to come in and I would not let them. I fell asleep very soon and dreamed the same thing over again, and about the snakes twisting themselves about me. One snake had a red eye and the other a green, and held something very bright in its mouth. It looked like a diamond or something silver, and their eyes sparkled like costly gems. I was pulling myself away from them, but it seemed the more I pulled, the more it came about me. It was like fighting with the devil himself.” Some days she had very good success in her endeavors to do what was right. “Thursday. Got up early, took my cold bath, took my physical culture, went to the office feeling more ready for work than ever. I am still trying to be a better girl in every way. I have held my tongue tight between my teeth when I was tempted to be .saucy. I have tried my best to-day and feel very satisfied. Had no dream.”
The bad dreams stopped completely for awhile and Lillian showed herself a model in conduct. All might have ended smoothly had it not been that her love for Anna Hobs gained the upper hand. She gradually came to neglect all her duties for the chance of seeing and speaking to her darling. They wrote to each other, of course, and exchanged locks of hair. There was nothing Lillian would not do for Anna. This interest speedily brought her into conflict with the officers. A dispute arose as to her receiving a note. She saw the note in the officer’s hand. It was to her from Anna. She completely lost control of herself, flew at the officer and struck her. This episode ended Lillian’s career at the Home. A place was found for her outside and she is still trying “to do her best.” After she had gone a diary was found which she had never shown to any one, which contained some of her most cherished thoughts. A few extracts may throw some light on the undercurrent of emotion that had influenced her conduct. “It is said that time heals every thing. I have been waiting to see if it were so. Day by day my loss is greater, day by day my grief becomes more, difficult to bear. I try to study and type-write. I read sometimes, or pretend to. I sit for hours with the open book before me, and never see a line printed there. 0 Love, if I could only dream to-night in the world with you. … I can be strong because I have known you. I can have courage because you were brave. I can be true because you were true. I can be tender because I love you. At last I understand. It is passion that cries out for continual assurance, for fresh sacrifices, for new proof. Love needs nothing but itself. Love can wait until life comes to its end, and trust to eternity, because it is of God. Good night, dear book to whom I tell my troubles.” And again: “If Tom had only done as I asked him to, to tell the superintendent all, but no, he wanted everything done on the sly. Why should I think of him now? It must be because I care too. Ah! Yes. Our memory cannot be washed out, but our sins can.”
It may, perhaps, be argued that this character presents nothing out of the ordinary, an emotional, impressionable girl, not intellectual, but artistically inclined. With great initiative and love of good times, she easily won the love of all about her. In a happy home, sheltered from temptation, not required to meet responsibilities, but made the recipient of love and devotion, would she not pass for a normal girl? Would she not be, not only popular with her friends, but esteemed and respected? Are there not many such who are not called upon to brave life’s storms? It is true that left to herself, she would fall a prey to the first temptation, but with a strong personality to depend upon ahd guide her, either a mother or a husband, she would be a loving, capable woman. Her faults were many. But is not the view point possible that it is normal to lie, to steal, and to love? Perfectly normal if these things are done to one’s own advantage, but it is the sign of a weak mind when one acts in such a way that injury to one’s self is sure to follow. We may, then, judge the abnormality in this case to be the easy yielding to impulse and the preference of the immediate to the far distant good.
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